cry_for_hope

I miss my car already.but hopefully i will get a new one soon and that will make life grand.

I miss my life.I dont have one

I leave for flordia in a couple of hours I am still in the process of packing. I am nervous it is mine and brendans first time flying it shall be interesting. I havent slept yet. maybe i should take a nap.


It will be great to not work for ten days and still get paid :)

Brendan and I bought our plane tickets to Flordia. Im super excited!!!



on the other hand... I WISH I STILL HAD FRIENDS.

So i pretty much love college life haha i just got my grades and i must say im doing pretty good lol.. i have a gpa of 3.15 i got and A- in algebra an A in english and a C+ in psychology. ya my psychology grade kind of sucked but it was a rather challeging course or should i say professor.

I hope everyone had a good christmas. Mine was pretty good ..nothing too exciting. I had to work christmas day i was mad at first but then i realized a lot of the people stuck in a nursing home dont have anyone to spend christmas with and no one should be alone on christmas so it kind of made me feel good going to work. Putting a smile on people's faces always makes me feel good :)


okay well i must go get in the shower so brendan and i can go visit his grandparents


Later Gaters :)

So i didnt have to babysit this morning which i am so happy about becuase i got like no sleep last night so it would have been impossible to function at 6 am. I stayed home from school again but i only had english so i know i didnt miss anything because we were going to the library to do research on our papers and well the library doesnt have anything on mine. I have to leave for work in like two hours and i really don't want to i should have called out but i didnt.






Elaina you should be proud I've been updating a lot.

So its about 1:30 am i cant sleep i have something on my mind that is really keeping me up.. i still feel like shit

so brendan should be home from work in about an hour i guess i will just wait for him


..This really sucks.. im never going to be able to function tomarrow.

I love how i've had livejournal for about four years and im just now figuring out how to change the userpic haha .. Now i have to work on changing the background ..

sometime i love my life hahah

So its been about a month since my last update so i guess i'm due for one

-So i feel like crap right now.. The two little kids i babysit got me sick . i didnt go to school today so im going to have to make up my psychology test.. No big deal
-I went to go visit meghan over the weekend it was pretty sweet . me and elaina got lost but it was still fun
- i bought Brendan a sega genesis haha .. we were bored one day and were talking about all the games we used to play on it so we decided to go buy one it's pretty sweet
- we bought a family feud game .its pretty cool except its hard as fuck.. the opposing team ALWAYS wins.but we also got some other sweet games
-Brendan bought me a guinea pig Aww i love her she's so cute.. I named her Emma haha 
- i've had the last three days off .. which is wonderful because i work too much
-but other than that life is pretty sweet

So  yes my life.. things are meh.. i dropped my anatomy class which was probably a really big mistake but i just couldnt focus atleast not now.  i have a lot going on and im just really confused.. i dont know what i want to do..but anyways


yes so umm im 18 now its pretty sweet i mean nothing has changed at all..lol. so my party is sunday and i really hope people come because i miss them all and it would be super great to see them 

I just realized something... this entry is completely pointless but ill post it anyways because im sure someone will be bored enough to read it :)


Later Gaters ; )

So umm tomarrow is my birthday im super excited. I'm having a little party on the eighth so if you want to go let me know i would love to have you.  I love my new job its super.  Ive been extremely tired lately which sucks but ive been so busy that sometimes i just forget about sleep.

 

 

I've been going through a realy tough time this week a really close friend of the family passed away this week.  He was like a grandpa to me and its been so hard to let him go and then a day after his funeral his wife ends up in the hospital they dont know whats wrong with her ... it could be an infection she caught from her husband but they arent sure.. i went to go see her today in the hospital.. its just been so hard. egh life stinks sometimes

I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..and its so much better than fucking mcdonalds thats for sure

Well i decided right now would be a perfect time to update since i am so incredibly bored.

So umm ya school is pretty sweet. I really dont mind it too much. But hey you guys will never guess what i learned today 1+1= 2 and -1+1=0 yes i know I'm very advanced in my mathamatics. As you can probably tell i am bieng very sarcastic. I absolutly hate my math class it is by the far the easiest thing ever and of coarse this wouldnt be a problem if i was actually getting credit for it but im not! And of coarse i cant drop it because i need that and algebra 2 in order to take my nursing calculations class because obviously taking it a million times in highschool wasnt good enough for them. Aagh the college life! but other than that psychology is pretty sweet. and i have english comp with Liz so that pretty much makes my life and i have Anatomy with Aimee. I honestly wish i took anatomy in highschool though because i pretty much have to devote my life to studying for that class. but i think the first quiz went alright but ofcoarse there is another one on friday.


Anyways on top of that i still hate my Job but on the brightside i got a call back from one of the places that i applied at but ofcoarse i was sleeping and i missed it .. so hopefully I can reach her tomarrow This will be very exciting. BUt overall i think i have a pretty good chance of getting the job since a girl i used to work with who works there now is pulling some strings for me .. It will be really great to have a new job.. PLus ill be making so much more money!

Oh ya another great thing that happened to me this week. Well, i was driving on the highway and i went to slow down when i realized i didnt have any breaks. Great right? Ya i pretty much went into panic mode and forgot all about my Ebreak so i had to pull off to the side and slow down as much as i could and thne i put it into park.. yes i know im brilliant.. and lets not forget that my car had brand new brakes and everything when i bought it two months ago.. yes TWO months ago.. But anyways they fixed it and it turns out one of my break pads fell off however that happened is beyond me but whatever .. It didnt cost me anything to fix so that made me happy..Oh the joy of having warranty



BUt umm ya im thinking i need to call up some friends because i miss them.


Okay i think i said all i needed to say . Im going to study for anatomy now..not like that is anything new

well ummm..where do i start?


im homeless and poor... i have a grand life

I'm really kind of confused right now. I just remeber looking back to the end of senior year and thinking how great my summer was going to be. i had the greastest friends anyone could have asked for but then it all seemed to change. everyone just got so busy and wrapped up in thier own lives that we just kind of lost contact. One night we all hung out and it relaly felt great to see everyone again and it made me realize how much i missed everyone. but at the same time i think irealy fucked up all the great friendships i had. I spent more of the night thinking that they all hated me and thats why no one has kept in contact with me but i finally now realize that in reality it was me. These were the best friends i could of ever asked for and i feel like i blew it all.. i mean ya people change but i miss what we had i really do. and now everyone is leaving and going off to school and i just look and see how i spent my whole summer worrying about what i didnt have .. when i could have made our friendship grown stronger and had the best summer of my life.... like it was supposed to be
i really wish idid things differently


eh life is so confusing.


i need sleep.. goodnight everyone

in case anyone was wondering i am still alive......

I GOT A NEW CAR.........AND I LOVE IT!!

its amazing i really am still alive

the only reason why i am updating is because i really need time to vent

After i graduated i decided to move in with brendan..and its been so wonderful. until now that is. and the problem isnt even between us we are actually very happy but his parents are being complete assholes over everything we pay them rent every single week but we arent allowed to have or touch practically anything in the house.. for example this weekend brendan and i went to long island(which was absolutley amazing by the way) and when we came home sunday night we went into our room and they fucking took out our air conditioner because thiers broke. so ofcoarse we went and got another one ( a much better one that is) to piss them off. but the point is everything has been so great almost even perfect and now all of sudden they decide to be assholes and get on brendans ass for everything.. i just thought getting out of my house was the best thing for me i was so much happier and ive learned so much but now its like im so confused they keep threatening to throw us out and that really scares me because i would have nowhere to go. and yes even though my mother said i could go back if i ever wanted to the truth is i really dont want to. and i guess thats because even though things are tough right now i realy am much happier. I realized a lot about my house.. all of these years i've done nothing but hate my dad and hate everything he ever did but now i realize that maybe he's not such an asshole but he's really sick. he has so much wrong with him health wise that it makes him absolutley miserable. and its gotten so much worse since ive moved out .. i hate going over there and looking at him becuase it looks like hes dying right in front of my eyes. theres a lot that i wish i could take back. but ijust dont know

i have a lot of other things that are going on right now that i dont really wish to share online but there really bothering me. im just so happy i have brendan he is honestly the best thing that has every happened to me and without him i dont know where i would be

but what i really miss is my friends. i guess when they say after high school everything changes its really true because i dont talk to anyone anymore. its almost as if they have forgotten all about me noone every attempts to call me or anything

okay i think i am done venting

holy shit its true im still alive..

this summer has been okay i havent really done much but work thats all i ever do
went to warped tour with elaina and kayla it was fun got really muddy i left my shoes there but it was fun

everything is going pretty goood for me right now .. school starts in a couple weeks its senoir year im pumped last year and im finally out of there ..Brendan is amazing and i love him very much :).ok so this was a pretty pointless entry but just letting you know that im alive or soemthing like that

i havent updated in a wicked long time

im going through a really wierd stage in my life right now i was so happy and then its like i woke up one day and everything was such a mess. i feel like everywhere i turn i have to make one decision after another, my mom had admitted to not trusting me at all and that hurts more then anything, i never go anywhere and then she says im never home, i dont fit in with the people i used to hang out with anymore and when i do hang out with them i feel pushed to the side . work is the only thing keeping me sane and that is just plain out pathetic. when im there i feel like i can just escape from everything and i dont have to face everything thats actaully going on maybe its because people there actually talk to me and make me laugh and im not complaining because im depressed all the time half the time im not even depressed its just that i have this huge cloud of confussion sitting over my head right now that just wont go away. maybe its time for me to make a big change who knows

well im too tired and too sunburned to type anything else

well im in he library right now in study and sitting next to the beutiful stacy marie suares but she is very intently working on her paper and I'm updating beacuse i have no life .. this weekend sucked i worked like 9 hours saturday and 10 on sunday crazy yes i know .. but work yesterday was actually pretty fun because we were mostly dead the whole day and plus amiee wrote an amazing story about me it was intense
but anyways this weekend is something to look forward to im getting my car on the road my mom is going to the insurance company for me on thursday and then friday all i have to do is get the plates and then im also hanging out with desiree this weekend which makes me excited x 23847203847

by the way ms. Valerie Crowter says hi to everyone and she loves you all <3

my sisters wedding was last weekend and it was super great i had a lot of fun maybe at some point ill put some pictures up here if i can figure out how to do it :)

oh ya and brendan got a job haha .hes working with me well not realy with me because hes working in the morning while i am at school but hes working at the same place of employment as me


alright well i must get going now beacause i have run out of things to write about so until next time
peace out homies